Saturday, 27 June 2015

Two weeks of envy

 I am scratching from next weekend’s regatta and taking two weeks of rest from rowing. I will have to come up with some kind of low-impact fitness training methods to keep myself in the game.
Rowing is something I have thrown myself into with such passion, such vigor. It’s been a very long time since I felt this driven by something. And it’s been pretty much never that I found a sport where my height and my build are an advantage instead of an unfortunate drawback. Knee problems? Not a problem. Broad shoulders? Bring it on. And yet, I’ve barely just begun to allow myself to dream about what I could accomplish.
This year, I went to the US Northwest Regional Masters championships and placed in the top six of all my events - winning against Novices, and getting into the finals against much more experienced rowers. Then I went to the BC Championships in Victoria and placed third in the single and second in a throw-together quad crew. I set my sights on winning the single race in Delta and began training hard for this in July.
I had a training program that was supposed to get me into a peak of fitness and feed my hunger for competitive success. But at the end of July I started feeling a tweak in my back and a voice in my head that said “you’re not going to get this.” I took our vacation and tried to make the back pain go away, but it just wouldn’t. Every time I drove in the car, my butt muscles tightened up. Eventually when I returned to training I knew something was really wrong. Did I stop? Nooooo of course not. The countdown was on. Around the time I should have been doing “supercompensation week” I developed a bad cough and cold. Nature was telling me something.
So this weekend, I finally decided to shut up and listen. And it was hard. REALLY hard. Because this is the last sprint regatta of the season, and who knows what will happen next year? Maybe I’ll get pregnant, maybe my work will take over my life and I’ll have to start working longer hours. Maybe my back problems will never go away. And that scares the shit out of me.
After finally having found a sport I can be really good at, it would just be too unfair to have it ripped away from me. Too, too unfair.
These next two weeks are going to be really hard.